And while predictability is a good thing, it can also be a beat down. Monday looks like Tuesday, which looks a lot like Wednesday, so on and so forth. And this is the season I am in right now. It won't always be like this, or so I keep telling myself. Ten years from now diapers will be a thing of the past. It is just a season.
I started reading Spurgeon's daily devotionals again. I had the app downloaded to my phone years ago but stopped reading it. This morning I just decided to open it up and see what Spurgeon had to say. And boy did I need to hear.
"So walk ye in Him."—Colossians 2:6.
If we have received Christ Himself in our inmost hearts, our new life will manifest its intimate acquaintance with Him by a walk of faith in Him. Walking implies action. Our religion is not to be confined to our closet; we must carry out into practical effect that which we believe. If a man walks in Christ, then he so acts as Christ would act; for Christ being in him, his hope, his love, his joy, his life, he is the reflex of the image of Jesus; and men say of that man, "He is like his Master; he lives like Jesus Christ." Walking signifies progress. "So walk ye in Him"; proceed from grace to grace, run forward until you reach the uttermost degree of knowledge that a man can attain concerning our Beloved. Walking implies continuance. There must be a perpetual abiding in Christ. How many Christians think that in the morning and evening they ought to come into the company of Jesus, and may then give their hearts to the world all the day: but this is poor living; we should always be with Him, treading in His steps and doing His will. Walking also implies habit. When we speak of a man's walk and conversation, we mean his habits, the constant tenour of his life. Now, if we sometimes enjoy Christ, and then forget Him; sometimes call Him ours, and anon lose our hold, that is not a habit; we do not walk in Him. We must keep to Him, cling to Him, never let Him go, but live and have our being in Him. "As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in Him"; persevere in the same way in which ye have begun, and, as at the first Christ Jesus was the trust of your faith, the source of your life, the principle of your action, and the joy of your spirit, so let Him be the same till life's end; the same when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and enter into the joy and the rest which remain for the people of God. O Holy Spirit, enable us to obey this heavenly precept.
No matter the season I am in, I must continue to walk with Christ. Being a mom isn't glamorous all the time. No one knows how many times I change nasty diapers. Or how many times I peek in to make sure Audrey is sleeping okay. Or how time isn't really all of my own anymore. But God sees all of my efforts, and at the same time all of my failures. He sees when I have to stop cooking dinner to comfort my crying baby and then end up forgetting to add an ingredient because my brain is elsewhere. He sees what I do, day in and day out.
Sometimes, I think that there's no way for me to glorify God during this season. I'm just a mom. I don't work in a corporate building, or run my own business. I so often downplay my role in this family. But that is the work of the Enemy. I can glorify God. I am carrying out His mandate by raising His children. I am sacrificing my time and energy to nurture and care for this precious baby.
I must continue to walk with Christ, no matter the season I'm in. If I'm not walking forward, I am either stagnant or going backwards -- neither of which I want to be doing. I want my walk to be transformed into my daily life, into every small detail of my day -- every diaper change, and every dinner failure, should all point to God's glory.
I pray that my walk would not be something I hide in secrecy, but that it permeates into even the smallest part of my everyday life.